I had a good day. :) Though I barely had 5 hours of sleep. Thank God for strength! Started my day praying in tongues and my entire day felt different. :)

Ward was real peaceful today. The patients were well and all. Nurses were laxed. Sabbath day in the hospital too? Hehe.

I wonder why patients like to offer me food… Grapes, Milo, sandwiches, biscuits, their meals… Do I have the hungry look on my face? HAHA…

Claudia :) Together in the same ward

Loraine =P

Yay
End of the day!

D hill we have to conquer after work  from NUH to hostel and vice versa.

Reaching! Lol…

Dinner at PGP hostel under the night sky.

Romantic? Lol. 

Had a great time with her at the piano after that. Wow… :) Thanks for the encouragement.

Music is gradually seeping into my blood once again. :)

5 more days @ NUH.
加油加油。。。

Back in hostel again.
First Sunday shift tmr… Feel weird to be working on a “church” day…
I guess every day is the same in the hospital.
Haha anyway……

*Drum roll*

I have FINALLY bought a handphone!!!

I believe many people will be delighted to hear that. HAHAHA. :)

It’s been the longest time… Lol.

….. …. … .. .

Share some hostel pics…

Lol… Essentials to survive.

Alley to the washroom right at the end…

 

A not-so-tidy room shared with a friend. Lol.

View  from window. Nothing spectacular…

 

Loraine. :)
So blessed to be in the same ward and hostel with you! Thanks for all your help! Treat you ice cream =P

. ... … …. …..

Will be spending the next 6 days in NUH & NUS…

Final lap!
加油加油。。。

Pulled out a Nasogastric (NG) tube from a patient today. Wonder how it feels…

NG tube is for feeding purposes in instances where a person has difficulty in swallowing (dysphagia). Eg: People with stroke or dementia.

Insertion of NG tube (via nose –> esophagus –> stomach)  can be a traumatic experience for a person. :(

….. …. … .. .

 

LOL… This is too cute. LOL.

The sight of it makes me wanna laugh LOL…

Screaming is a big loud nothing.

….. …. … .. .

All work and no play make Aileen a dull person.

7 more days @ NUH……….
8 more days to holiday……….
11 more days to REAL holiday…….

Real holiday = having fun without guilt

I struggled to do a weekly reflection this week… I couldn’t remember much of what I did in the hospital. Somehow days just zoomed by in a flash, everything looked blur.

The weekend performances seemed really long ago. Memories have already migrated to the back of my mind.

My piano is deteriorating.
Cello is stagnant.
I don’t even care now. 

Less is more.

My mind is as blank an A4 printing paper.

I ought to be sleeping now…

I’m wishing for a break, away from it all. To be drawn away from the world into a make-believe place.

Somehow in times like this, I always have magical dreams while sleeping. Like how I’d be flying in the sky, overlooking nice beaches, trees and cliffs.

It has happened many times. I smile at the thought of it. 2 nights ago, I was flying over the landscape of Madagascar. Haha. A strange yet wonderful experience.

Talk about sweet dreams. Haha.

….. …. … .. .

There’s a difference between day-dreaming and being in my own world. Lol. For day-dreaming, a person is thinking of something… Perhaps like a far-fetched dream. However, when I’m in my own world, most of the time, my mind is just an empty box.

Common question I get from people
”What is on your mind?”

My honest answer
”Nothing.”

Common assumption
”Oh… You seem to be in deep thoughts.”

Seeing is not believing. :)

….. …. … .. .

Yet another mindless post about nothingness.

 

 

When you’ve tried your best  
But you don’t succeed.

 

Dear God,

I’m sorry to have been a disappointment…
For being a let down.
I so wanted to glorify Your name…
But I didn’t.
Help me to be a better person for You.

In Jesus’ name I pray…
Amen.

Met my preceptor for a weekly 1-1 reflection and feedback. She said something which made my day!

“I can see the future of nursing in you.”

Omg. Happiness! :)

I brought up a few issues. Eg: Doctors, school grades, people’s perception of nursing…

Very enlightened. :)

Yay 4 performances down~

Thanks to those who prayed for me...

I was actually ill yesterday and really struggled hard to wake up this morning. Felt significantly better today despite having so little sleep...

Thank God for strength and healing! :)

Performance this time was kinda different because there wasn't a conductor. It felt weird having no one to look at lol... So I looked around. For some reason, I like to smile at people on stage, I think they look too serious and I need to feel 'grounded' to remind myself that I'm on stage...

For if you know me, I'm always lost in my own world hahaha. Especially recently, I find myself keep staring into space when there's no need to think... I think my mind is malfunctioning. Haha.

I'm kinda zonked out now.

But I gotta do a case study tonight on a patient. Gotta link a lot of things together... Symptoms, disease(s) investigations, treatments, medications, anticipated problems and nursing care...

How how...

Lazy to go back hostel too...

*shrug*

..... .... ... .. .

I think nursing students are sick of answering "Why do you join nursing?"

So much so that I find myself simply answering "Cos I like." as time goes by.

However, today someone asked me a question which caught me off-guard and speechless for a while.

"Is it a satisfaction for you to wipe people's buttocks?"

Honestly, is that the first thing you think about at the mention of the word "nurse"? It's pardonable since I think a large majority of people don't know what nursing actually is.

Think about it, there must be a reason why diploma, advance diploma and degree are offered for nursing.

Nursing involves the physical, psychological, emotional, cultural, spiritual welfare of a patient. It is both an art and science.

Hence, when I say I like being a nurse, it means I find joy in playing a role in every component of nursing. :)

*Shrug* But maybe not the case study later... Lol...

I woke up this morning feeling LOST. Didn’t attend soundcheck and Indo meeting… I think I desperately needed the rest. So I went to JP to walk around and was tempted to buy a soft toy for myself. =/

I’ve been thinking a lot about my patients, the treatments they are going through, the medications they are taking and so forth. I wonder if they actually need those?

The number 1 complaint that I received thus far is the adverse side effects of drugs and treatments. More common ones are drowsiness, headaches, diarrhoea, fatigue, vomiting, nausea and loss of appetite.

They may seem minor to us, but imagine it being long term, and very often patients exhibit more than one of those symptoms at once. Most of them are well into age too. 

Would they be better off without the treatments?

Are the treatments doing more good or harm?

Many times in a hospital, a patient does not have a say in how they would like to be treated. They become submissive and passive recipients. After all, the doctors and nurses know what is best for them right?

I hope that as people become more educated, they would eradicate that perception. I believe that a patient still knows best what is good for their own body. There is no one method/treatment/medication which fits all.

I have patients telling me how a drug is useless and not effective for them. But they have to take it because it’s in the freaking doctor’s order. Doctors have the final say right.

Please bear in mind that they are not GOD, they don’t know a lot of things too.

SO, I’m hoping, in future, patients will be a more active participator of their own healthcare. Knowledge = power.

Know that even as a patient, you have many rights.

Question the doctors and nurses of their rationales behind interventions. Challenge them.

But in a kind way please hehehehe. 

….. …. … .. .

Gotta prepare for later performances now…

加油加油。。。

   

Everybody wants a piece of me
I just don't know where to turn

- Corrinne May "Little Superhero Girl"

 

Have been feeling like that recently.

Canceled piano lesson today because I reckoned I'd just be wasting my teacher's time and mine.

Attachment has extinguished much music inspiration. If you notice, I don't even talk about it anymore.

Went for "Songs of Solomon" bible study @ EXPO instead. Awesomeness. It was like going to a petrol station for refill.

Haven't been attending orchestra rehearsals for 2 weeks already. And to think I have 4 performances this weekend... No amount of prayer will help if one doesn't practise. Period. :(

Might have to miss my Indo meeting later in the morning for soundcheck @ EXPO. More like rehearsals for me.

I dunno.

My guard has been up for the longest time. Been sick a few times, but just gotta hang on and persevere...

2 more weeks to end of attachment. I might just crumple after that. When my guard is down, when my body lets loose, who knows what suppressed symptoms might manifest themselves. *Shrug*

Like a soldier, he may injure himself during a war, only to realise it after the war, when he starts to feel the pain.

 

At the end of the day,
after all's been said and done,
I still love nursing. :)

I guess we can't run away from our calling.

First afternoon shift in a hospital.

Though I'm so a night person, I prefer morning shifts. At least my day seems longer.

Witnessed a lumbar puncture today.



Patient has to be in this position.



Click on picture to enlarge for more details.

It was my first time witnessing such a procedure and unfortunately, it wasn't a good experience. Since we can't say anything bad in regards to the hospital and everything inside, I shall not talk about the doctors.

Let's just say my already bad impression of them was made worse.

So disturbed by their attitudes, I was almost in tears.


..... .... ... .. .


I was thinking, if I were to become critically ill one fateful day,

1) I would sign an Advance Medical Directive (AMD) form,
2) I would request for no medical students to attend to me (Patient's right) and
3) I would sign a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form upon several unsuccessful attempts to save me.

Haha please just leave me alone.

@ hostel.


Dramatic day @ the hospital.

7.30am - 8.30am
Did a bed bath for a patient who couldn't move and was on a non-rebreathable mask, gasping for air.
Patient was running a fever and had many superficial wounds, with body fluids leaking out of arms.


After lunch at 1.30pm
Discovered that patient had passed on.

2.30pm
Performed a Last Offices procedure with preceptor, where we cleaned up the body with respect and dignity and prepared the body to be sent off. My first time!

..... .... ... .. .

Just this morning, I was telling my friends that we gotta be mentally prepared to do a Last Offices anytime. My instinct told me that someone was gonna pass on soon, but I didn't expect it to be that soon.

Really thank God for His grace and strength which saw me through. That couldn't have been me.

. .. ... .... .....

After duty, I went swimming with my friends hahaha. Happy that I advanced to the big pool! And my frog style is improving lol... I never knew how to swim the right way by the way... And to think that my best friend is a swimming coach and lifeguard. HAHA..

We swam for a good 1.5 hours and well, gained much calories thereafter. :)




A big kick to start off the week.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Happy Birthday to Mon on a Mon-day!!! =P

@ home.

I don't know what to say.

My life is flooded and I'm almost drained. Juxtaposition? =P

It is another crazy week next week.

On top of attachment from Mon to Fri,
Wednesday - Orchestra Prac (Can't go)
Thursday - Orchestra prac (Jurong)
Friday - Piano (Jurong) + bible study (Expo)?
Saturday - Indonesia meeting (NUS) + Performance (Expo)
Sunday - Service cum performance (Expo)

It seems like a great mountain ahead, but I'm determined to conquer it. At least I'm loving everything that I do. :)

 

*Your light in me, I'll let it shine.*

Here I am again. :)

3rd day @ NUH.
Getting the hang of the routine and orientation of the hospital.
It was a peaceful day at the ward, nothing dramatic happened.

Pricked 3 fingers for blood glucose monitoring , took an ECG reading and pulled out an IV tube from a wrist. Hope to do more interesting stuff tmr. :) Though of course I hope my patients are well and recovering. Haha.

I'm alone in my hostel tonight again! My roommate's schedule was changed so she didn't have to report tmr. Love the serenity at night but it can be rather dangerous for a girl since there're so few people staying during the holidays. Moreover the washroom is quite a distance from my room and best of all, it has no lock. So any Tom, Dick or Harry can hide inside!!!

But I'm :) :) :) :) :) tonight.
Excited about my attachment and holiday after that. :)
Wishing for Christmas too. Lol...

@ King Edward Hostel now
My roommate won't be staying in tonight muahaha.

Happy that I don't have to travel much! Except there are a lot of stairs to climb since my hostel is on a hill. Lol. I might as well just roll down if I'm late.

2nd day @ NUH.
Learnt much, seen much.
Been posted to an Oncology ward.
Cancer + blood disorder.

Sigh, the adverse effects of radiotherapy and medications.
Wish I could share it here but I think we're not allowed to.
So ask me!


It's mentally draining though, to be constantly under observation by the patients and nurses, to be/act professional once I put on my uniform, to absorb the vast amount of infomation and activities going on.

Though I wish we could do more stuff to keep my brain stimulated in the morning.

Btw, my morning shift is from 6.55am - 3pm (-.-zzZ)and afternoon 1pm - 9pm (Entire day gone).

Thanks to someone who reminded me to do everything unto God. Which reminded me the reason why I joined nursing - to be a light in a world of darkness.
Yea keep reminding me!


Went swimming after duty today and knocked my head against the side while I swam backwards. HAHAHA how brilliant.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
:)

Polyclinic attachment down.
Performance down.
Indo meeting down.

Crush them and throw into the bin.

Coming up:

4 weeks of attachment @ NUH + staying in NUS hostel.

They are so efficient, our schedule is not out yet. It frustrates those who has some life out of nursing.

 

God, please fast forward the 4 weeks, strengthen me and increase my capacity.

And multiply my pathetic holiday.

Think I’m on the verge of breaking down…

This week has been and will be ridiculous.

Weekdays are spent in Jurong Polyclinic with nights for other commitments…

And now I’m doing some Asthma ppt slides for tomorrow’s presentation. Gonna do a reflection for the past 3 days at the polyclinic later too…

Before I can “TGIF”, I have piano lesson and makeup cg to go. I haven’t freaking practised my piano for ages.

And before I can happily herald the arrival of the weekends, I have orchestra performances at EXPO and my Indonesia trip meeting from 1pm-8pm on both sat and sun.

My week will be concluded with a quintet performance @ Esplanade with my orchestra friends. 2 hours of sitting back and relaxing.

Follow by 4 crazy weeks @ NUH.

It’s not surprising for me to start losing things and forgetting stuff. Pardon me. I hate that too.

Today marked the first day I stepped into a Polyclinic. We were freezing inside! It wasn't particularly crowded today, at least not what my impression of a polyclinic crowd was.

The 5 of us were allocated to a room each where we observed how nurses worked. My room was more of chronic care management, where patients go in for consultation on how to take care of themselves and improve their conditions... (Eg: Asthma, Diabetes...)

So basically, I heard how the patients were dealing the with disease and how the nurses counseled them.

There was a diabetic man who was feeling rather helpless and frustrated, because despite altering his diet and taking medication, his blood sugar level was still very high. He was describing how his diabetic friends could freely eat what they liked and how he'd refrain from going out with his friends and family for meals. How their doctors didn't 'scold' them but yet his doctor was very strict with him...

The nurse told him his condition was probably due to the genes. Maybe...

Most of them should have this little device which helps them to monitor their sugar level at home. I did that for some patients last semester, and quite enjoyed pricking their fingers HAHA. Morbidity.

We had also witnessed a toddler's vaccination process. Ooo how it sent shivers down my legs. The child was cryingggg as if she was about to be sacrificed. After the jab, she waved goodbye to us in the midst of crying. LOL.. So cute!

Muahaha.
I hate to be jabbed too.
But I think I'd need a Typhiod jab soon for my Indo trip... Argh...

That's about all today, we were rather free. My friends at TTSH are DYING........... Intimidated and overwhelmed. Heard that it's more stressful than the entire semester. Wonder how NUH would be like!!!

I'm anticipating yet apprehensive.

Taking one day at a time.

 

P.S: Happy you're home! :)

WHAT SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ATTACHMENT @ JURONG POLYCLINIC will commence TOMORROW.

Got the news earlier today.

And that kinda destroyed my wonderful plans for this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh sigh sigh.

Gotta psyche myself up again...

Cheated my feelings!!!

=\

Life of a nursing student.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just watched "Wolverine" with Matt. Much testosterone. Nice bods. Not much of a storyline though.

So cool. Wiu~ :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear God, please help me through this week. I don't really know how...

Latest news:

Students going to all hospitals except NUH, AH and CGH gotta start attachment NEXT WEEK.

Ok the flu is really playing with our feelings... The wonders of what little micro-organisms can do! Great teamwork I'd say.

Anyway, my 4-week attachment will commence the following week @ NUH. Not sure about the 1 week @ Jurong Polyclinic yet...

But in the meantime, no one is to go out of Singapore. Or make any plans yet... So I shall make full use of next week to tour Singapore... (I haven't even been to many places here!!! =X)

My school email is flooded with messages about the flu!!!!!!!! Especially nursing announcements.. So many to delete! Haha.

Gotta be so flexible in the healthcare 'industry'... It's like having our lives revolving around it... But hmmm... Doubt I'll compromise my family for career in future...................

Ok this is called far-sightedness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Highlight of the day: Concert @ Esplanade.

Sigh, due to miscommunication, my conductor reserved TWO tickets for me! When I only needed one for myself. So what to do with the other one?! I actually went out of the concert hall, before it started, to try to give it away to anyone!

I asked 3 people, but they couldn't, so it was just too bad.

And too bad someone is so far away...

So anyway, that was the 3.5th time (and counting) that I watched a concert alone hahaha. Nice to indulge freely in my own world, especially since it's after exams.

It was quite an interesting experience chatting up and sitting beside an American who happened to be some director of NUS Research Center of Excellence (RCE) in Bio Science (Maybe Yang will work with him in future...?) And maybe he has something to do with the "Genes and Society" module (Somebody's favourite lol...) which I just took? 

God I really need a good break away from anything related to NUS...

Waha.

Anyway happy that Wang Jian played Bach - Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major (The advertisement song...) as an encore piece hehehehe...

Him :)

Happy that 3 storybooks (finally) are waiting for me to read muahaha... Next week!!! :)

Happy holidaysssssss!!!!!!! :)

Just came back from porridge @ Chinatown with Matt!

EXAMS are OVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

My cells are all dancing for joy! :D
It's like being set free from chains and shackles.

Upcoming plans -

1) Meeting my jc friend later in TOWN for some shopping and bimbotic fun HAHA...

Was contemplating if I should go for Wang Jian's cello masterclass, but the thought of going back to school.... Eww. I know it's WANG JIAN but I seriously need to do some mindless things now to rejuvenate haha.

2) Friday: Piano lesson, meeting schoolmate at music library, assessment on how to wear PPE and Wang Jian's concert @ Esplanade... Quite an eventful day.

3) Saturday: CG + spring cleaning at home! (Make sure I'll do that!!!)

4) Sunday: Service + Orchestra rehearsal

 

FREE next week! Ask me out!

 

Latest news

1) Attachment is CANCELED due to the PIG flu... Sian. Messed up my holiday plans... Was so looking forward to being a nurse again... Awaiting further notice for now.

Hope my Indonesia trip with the nurses will not be canceled...

2) Orchestra will be performing with the choir next weekend @ Expo.

3) Those under 25 will be performing for Emerge...

4) :) + ? = ?

 

P.S: Have fun in HK, take care and miss me! =P Hahaha...

Though I’m in the midst of exams, I’m very happy recently! :)

1) Felt prompted to read the bible before I slept, glad I obeyed and was extremely touched by God. That though I haven’t prayed or spoke about an issue which has been provoking me recently, God knew. That night, His words pierced through my heart and touched the core of it. =’)

2) First service @ EXPO Sunday, 10am. Felt good to be back there and see my friends! :) Loved the service. :)

3) Finally able to go church together with CHANG again!!!!!!!!! :) Like the old times. :) I missed him!

4) Quite happy with my pace of revision… Err though sometimes amount of effort put in may not be proportional to grades obtained.

5) Finally touched the soil of CITY HALL… Lol… You don’t know how much that meant to me man.. Hahaha… Sorry Vink for waiting for me! But it was a great time huh. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other hand, my attachment is starting next week. In conjunction with the infamous swine flu virus, all of us have to don Personal Protection Equipment (PPE) attire every day!!!!! That includes an N95 mask, gown and gloves (I think).

SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think)

My dad has been quite concerned over that. Erm, he’s basically concerned over my entire nursing career. Must be wondering “What’s with her and her freaking nursing decision?!”

Haha.

It’s my calling and I feel it’s my responsibility to be a nurse. It’s an adventure altogether, dealing with life and death.

Whatever threatening microorganisms there are, however mutated they are, we just gotta be there! Salute to all the nurses!!!!!!!!!! (Of cos not to myself since I’m not one yet haha)

And doctors…

 

And please, take care of yourself. I think they are busy enough already soooo… Stay healthy. :)

Do not cough or sneeze into the air and special mention, do not burp into people’s faces and try to close your mouth when you sleep too. LOL! (Especially you-know-who. =P)

HAHAHA. I still love you… Lol…

It’s 6:37am.
Good morning. :)
(I haven’t said that for a long time.)

 

I’m eating my usual cornflakes + chocolate milk + organic almonds.

Why am I up even before the sun???

Reason being…

 

I haven’t freaking slept the entire night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reason being…

 

My mind couldn’t freaking stop working!!!!!!!!!!

 

2 hours of tossing and turning was kinda torturous as my mind and body just couldn’t coordinate. Had an influx of thoughts gushed through my mind like how a mudslide would flush an entire village. (Too much Discovery Channel =P)

I thought up a list of reasons

 

1) Why the term “musician” shouldn’t be used too loosely. It’s not merely someone who plays music.

Like taking care of your sick parent doesn’t make you a nurse.

For that I don’t consider myself to be a musician or a nurse at the moment. And probably am nowhere near.

 

2) Why the new generation of nurses is so gonna revolutionize the entire hospital system in Singapore.

The first thing that needs to be changed, in my opinion, is the public’s impression of nurses outwardly. At the mention of the word “nurse”, what comes to your mind?

Before I entered nus nursing, I had a generally negative impression of nurses. To me a nurse is merely someone who looks erm.. quite fat with short permed hair and a scrunchy face.

What scrunchy face?! Pardon me for my lack of vocabulary + sleep, that was a rather spontaneous word which came into my mind when I visualize the faces of those nurses in my impression.

To create a scrunchy face, contract all your facial muscles and look into the mirror. There you go! Lol…

Furthermore, the present generation of people is relatively ‘rebellious’, in a good way I suppose. We no longer do things blindly as told. We question the rationale behind every implementation. We ask “Why is this freaking done this way? Why can’t it be the other way?” For this, I foresee widespread badmouthing from the ‘experienced’ nurses.

The first batch of nurses are gonna graduate from NUS this year. They are like the infantries going into the battlefield with many arrows pointing towards them. They are probably gonna be hit the hardest. All eyes would be upon them.

I also like it that doctors have little say in how nurses work now. I believe that we have our own roles and responsibilities to fulfill. Therefore it is good that we do not interfere too much into each other’s business as to cause discord.

I like this verse.

But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; ¹¹ that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands,

1 Thessalonians 4: 10-11

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collaboration and teamwork are keys to working harmoniously, providing optimal healthcare services to the public. *ahem*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wah, so slogan-like…
LOL…….

I sound like a very ON nurse when I’m not even one. Hahaha.

 

Ok my bio clock is messed up now. This is the “sleeping disorder” that I mentioned in my previous post. It came to past! I seriously hope the rest on the list won’t manifest themselves. Lol…

 

 

I’m bored to the point of d…
Never mind.

Life right now consists of mainly studying, sleeping and eating. Other than those, are guilty pleasures.

No doubt I enjoy studying (the topics I like) but doing it repeatedly for the longest time may cause adverse reactions such as sleeping disorders, schizophrenia, psychosis, delirium, depression and social alienation.

According to Aileen Tan. Lol… Which of course may not be true, but there’s a possibility.

I have trouble sleeping for the past few daysss. Though I’m physically lethargic, my mind is like… Spastic?! “Over-stimulated” is a friendlier word. I can’t sleep earlier than 3am now.

Wonder how am I gonna wake up for a 5-week attachment 2 weeks later… Wonder what will happen in the hospital… Wonder if I can be a good nurse… Wonder when can I play carelessly again.

I’m in such a wonderful state now. Lol… 

Deprived.

Suffocating.

Confined.

A caged bird.

Yay 1 paper down. Happy with my memory, thank God for helping me!!! Cos seriously I couldn’t do it on my own… I’m zombified now but it’s worth it I guess.

Having my lunch of cornflakes + chocolate milk + organic almonds lol… While watching Madagascar 2 and planning to take a nap thereafter. :)

加油！:)

 

Lost my piano scales book on the way for lesson just now… How I lost it remains a mystery. Now it’s gone for good Lol, I never like scales.

Anyway all those stuff inside have more or less been transferred into my brain already…. After much grilling from my beloved teacher. :)

She was so cute today. We were listening to the recording of one of my exam pieces, and I questioned the pianist’s interpretation cos it was slightly different from ours.

And she replied,

“Ours sounds nicer hor?”

Lol… (^;^)v

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I’ve just infringed on one of my moral values. So much for ‘preaching’ about it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When is a real break ever gonna come?!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting sick of STUDYING continuously…

All the bio… The freaking terms!!!!!!!

 

@^$!*#^!*#&!$^!*%#@!(&@

 

????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight.

Lenka - “The Show”

 

Woke up at 7.30am today, on a Sunday, due to the horrendous heat. My air con is worse than a fan so I decided not to switch it on the previous night. I woke up having a cough and a headache as I searched my floor for my handphone which had dropped from my bed during my sleep…

I’m probably dehydrated or that my body is too hot (Hmmm… LOL).

….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. …..

Anyway, interestingly, at the entrance of JP, a boy approached me.

“ 可以帮我买烟吗？”

I think I’m too used to people asking me to buy stuff FROM them instead of FOR them. I was speechless for 2 seconds, trying to make some sense out of that.

When I saw that he wanted to hand over $7, I realized what he meant. (7-eleven was beside.)

Obviously I won’t do such a thing.

1) I’m a NURSE (in-making) and I don’t support smoking. :) The weather is polluted and hot enough. =x

2) It’s illegal to be smoking since he’s underage. He looks like a 15 year-old to me.

3) It’s morally unethical for me to abuse my legal age. With increased age comes increased responsibility. :)

SO, I gave him a “WHAT THE…” look and walked away. I could have said something but was too speechless… That was just a natural reaction.

 

This is a good situation to bring up many social issues. Haha… But I’m going to bed now. =)

Happy = Chang coming back to church. Missed having him around in church.  He’s someone whom I showered my TLC on and brought him to church. Then he left, now he’s back, the rest is history. I’m so proud of his courage and decision to come back. :)

Neutral = Cg may be shifting to Expo service.

Sad = Received a call from someone… His dad just beat him up quite bad. Seriously, what right does the father has to do that, now that the child is a grown-up, able to make his own decisions? To me that is plainly a physical abuse. What is the end-result he hopes to achieve? Disunity and fear in the household, hatred towards him?

“Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Sure I do support that statement, but firstly, as parents they gotta examine the purpose of them using the ‘rod’. Will it do more harm or good to the child? Eventually, is the message/lesson being brought across?

My heart is saddened. :(

Just a few days ago, my lecturer mentioned that hospitals are seeing more patients being admitted due to physical abuses at home. It’s ironic. Home should be the safest place to be in.

It’s not surprising that most abusers are the males (Sorry for the stereotype.). What’s wrong with them really? Are they trying to make others feel small to make them appear ‘bigger’, more powerful? It’s pathetic that they have no other means to portray that.

So, if your boyfriend or husband are abusive towards you, leave him. Till he wakes up his ideas, straighten out his thoughts then maybe you can consider going back. Otherwise, ladies, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment from anyone at all.

(Just to clarify, leaving your husband doesn’t mean divorcing him. It means going somewhere safer away from him until he decides to change. You gotta protect yourself.)

 

Alright so much for now.

YAY I passed Pharmaco. :)

That’s something to be thankful for, considering it’s my most dreaded topic of all. Nice to learn but not nice to study, or rather memorize.

Thank God for that, totally… (Refer to my previous post =P)

I’m happy today cos my piano teacher was happy with my progress. :) Just that my scales are still a little rusty. She said my dreaded word “MEMORIZE”.

Sigh, God I pray for a bigger brain capacity… That I can use just 1 more % of my brain? :)

And I’m also very happy cos I HAVE FINALLY GONE TO TOWN after forever. So deprived huh… The air was somewhat different there. :)

 

 

Anyway, if you have old folks at home, please make your house as fall-free as possible. My dad had just slipped and twisted his elbow or something. Older people have weaker bones. Once they fall, things are gonna turn ugly.

I was in my room when I heard his fall. It made me cringe big time. Though I’m taking NURSING, anything to do with BONES (eg, fractures, dislocation…) is not my cup of tea. Totally.

The mention of it makes my hair stand on its ends and send shivers down my spine. Yea something like that. Just don’t…

…

Ok great. My dad just came into my room and showed me his elbow… It’s swollen already… I was trying so hard to avoid seeing it…

What kind of nurse is this. (–_-)

Oh yay Pharmaco is over. If I can pass, it is truly divine intervention. :) And strangely I don't know why for this test, 3 people prayed for me!

THREE.

Thanks for your prayers, they were very much needed. My mind was as blank as the photocopying paper hehe.

Went to the student lounge to watch "A Walk To Remember" while my friends caught some sleep haha. I love the songs inside! Does anyone know if there is a soundtrack album for that? :)

Met MC and SiMin for lunch... MC is totally crazy over her PRINCE CHARMING. The way she described him... Omg. Haha. You should see the enthusiasm and passion she had. LOL.. Sia la.

Went for tutorial after that... It was our LAST one together. I really love my group. :( The best combi ever. HAHA. AND I saw that my angmoh tutor has a tattoo of a ring on her ring finger.

THAT IS SO COOL OMG. That's what I have thought of doing!!!!!!!!! To tattoo my wedding ring on my finger!!! (0.0) She actually did it!

IF my hubby is sporting enough, we can both get it together!!! Anyway, if you don't like it, you can always wear a real ring to cover it hahahaha. =X

 

Ok so much for this senseless post. Sad that Semester 2 is coming to an end. :(

I love studying while listening to Chinese worship songs. It motivates me to study harder, knowing that I’m doing it all unto God. :)

Seriously, I don’t know how am I going to do for paper tmr. Thinking about that makes me wanna cry.

Memorizing is not my cup of tea… TOTALLY. I hate mindless memorizing. It almost useless for me since I am pretty sure I’d forget most of it after I graduate.

I mean what’s the point of memorizing when the info is all in the book??? Just gotta FLIP it open for the answer, why bother memorizing?

On the other hand, my favourite subject is GP. A topic you can’t exactly study :) and at least it’s mind-stimulating enough to keep me interested.

I think I need Penelzine, Tranylcypromine, Ephedrine, Tyramine, Desipramine, Reboxetine. One of them will do. Lol…

 

Well in any case, I’m just gonna do my best for tmr.

 

Pharmaco… =’’( 

Sigh, I seriously don’t know how to study Pharmaco and how to memorize those freakish names.

=’(

Agonized + helpless.

Studying for Pharmacology AGAIN…

The challenging thing about it is the memorizing skill… Drug names are obnoxious.

For example…

Diphenylmethanes: e.g. bisacodyl (Dulcolax®) phenolphthalein (Prescription Only, POM)

Anthraquinones: e.g. senna (Senokot®), aloe, cascara

 

(0.0)???!!!!

Seriously, I am so not gonna waste my brain space over that, But who knows… It might come out… I don’t know… :(

 

Came across this chim word “Flatulence”.

(0.0)

Wiki-ed it…

Flatulence is the production of a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals or other animals that are byproducts of the digestion process. Such a mixture of gases is known as flatus, and is expelled from the rectum in a process colloquially referred to as "passing gas" or "farting". Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same process which causes feces to descend from the large intestine. The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks.

Lol… So chim for what….
The description is quite humourous hehe.

 

Ok it’s time to tuck in…

(-_-)zzZ

 

I think it’s useless to dream big without DISCIPLINE to start with.

:(

I'm so in love with Mandarin worship songs!!! There is just a certain sincerity and genuineness to it that English ones can't exactly bring out.

Maybe it's because I'm a Chinese. *Grin* :)

I need to brush up on my Mandarin and dialects for the upcoming attachment... Haha...

..... .... ... .. .

Anyway, we learnt about the electrocardiogram (ECG) today. 

Basically, we have to know how to interpret it. I've skipped a few lectures on this so it's better not to share whatever knowledge I have. Lol...

It was quite funny, the lecturer shared this example...

A true case.
On a fateful night at East Coast Park, 2 lovers were kissing and stuff. What happened was, the girl was giving the guy lovebites on the neck. Apparently both were too engrossed or something... The guy DIED in the end.

How did that happen? =/

The girl was biting on a side of his neck, while using a hand to compress on the other side of the neck. Hence resulting in the occlusion (blockage) of the carotid arteries.

As you can see from the diagram, the carotid arteries supply blood to the brain. By compressing both sides of the neck, the brain couldn't receive much blood, resulting in death.

OMG. It was a freak accident. Must be traumatizing for the girl.

Be careful when kissing. Chill... :) (Don't kill... Lol...)

 

P.S: Ok I don't know how my lecturer managed to digress to that. Haha.

I've just cleaned my toilet and vacuumed my room. :)

Sense of victory. Lol... For some exotic reason, I like cleaning my toilet. :) 

And I'm not exactly looking forward to school... It's not that bad, in fact it can be fun, but the thought of starting the week all over again is kinda a drag.

Some Sunday-night effect I guess...

There's an aseptic wound dressing assessment on Tuesday and the rest of the days I plan to start on my revision...

Very happy that all my assignments and project are over and done with. :)

Sense of victory. =P

 

Ok I should really prepare for school now,..

Weekends seem to pass by so quickly... But then again, weekdays too. :) And again, it doesn't matter cos I enjoy (most of) the things I'm doing. :)

Dad bought me to Jurong Hill for dinner. It's above the Jurong Birdpark. A nice place to go if you want a peaceful night. It overlooks the Jurong Island. :) According to him, the Jurong Hilltop restaurant was started since 1964. It was a place where foreign politicians used to gather.

So... At least there's something in the West... Hehe.

Oh there's this fishery port place too. My dad used to bring us there at midnight to see fishes being imported in, ready for sale the next morning.

That's another interesting place. Lol..

..... .... ... .. .

It's time to choose my attachment place again.

My

1st choice - NUH
2nd choice - SGH
3rd choice - AH (Alexandra)

NUH cos it's next to NUS and I'm hoping to stay over at a friend's hostel so that I can sleep longer!!! Morning shifts start at 7am. I reckon that if I wake up late, I can just dash over... In my nurse uniform, how glam huh. HAHA.

SGH cos I heard it's a good teaching hospital. But it's at Outram... So I reckon I'll be broke after attachment due to cab fares.

AH cos I have a direct bus and the food around that area is nice. :) Plus it's near AIA so I can meet up with some people there.

Will spend 4 good long weeks there in cardiac (heart) & respiratory (lungs)  wards. I bet there will be drama...

 

And 1 week in a Polyclinic... (I choose Jurong Polyclinic of cos haha)

I have NEVER stepped into a Polyclinic before so I don't know what to expect except long queues??? Cos that's the only thing people talk about. And of cos cheap fees, and a good place to get an MC...

So while others are having their holidays... We have 5 weeks of attachment... :) Interesting huh.

Nursing rocks.

Was looking at CDs at Gramophone, I found that very therapeutic though there's always a temptation to buy a CD or two...

And as usual, I was browsing aimlessly through the racks and I saw

~NICK DRAKE~

whom I was crazily into recently. Great, it was on 30% discount! Until I went to the counter and found out it was actually $23.07. But for him it's ok, I love his voice so much I just wanna listen to him sing even though I didn't know most of the songs. Lol...

Check out the CD I bought... :)

http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/store/
artist/album/0,,3053470,00.html

Wanted to watch a late-night movie but I have already spent so much...
:( So I didn't.

And very randomly, a friend asked me out for a joyride! At 12am. Lol... It was very a very memorable ride haha. He drove from Jurong right up to Changi! Past Old Changi Hospital *cringe* and the chalets there...

To Changi Village where he drove round a carpark just to show me the trans. It was a total eye-opener! :)

Then we drove along Changi beach, East Coast Park, through the city and along West Coast park back to my place. Haha... I was playing the CD I just bought throughout the entire ride. Interesting huh! :)

I miss staying in the east where I spent the first decade of my life in Bedok! I wanna go back to the east where I belonggg... Haha...

Just ended a meeting and with barely 4 hours of sleep, it's easy to stay in my own comfort world as always...

I'm not exactly the friendliest person in the morning, as in my mind gets fully functional only after 12pm... So, please don't be offended if I seem aloof or something.

The thing is there is really NOTHING going on in my mind. I may even be staring at you talking, and all I can interpret from that is your lips moving and you producing some familiar sounds...

Maybe it's a little exaggerated but it's almost the case.

Yea this is something about me which is always causing trouble and misunderstandings. I think. As in, people have been telling that I'm always in my own world... Haha well, it's my natural tendency to I guess. It's so me that I don't even think it's abnormal. Ha...

Mornings are for sleeping and not some mind-stimulating stuff... Like discussions, science lectures and exams. Period. :)

 

This is bad... Tsk.

Been snacking a lot recently... This won't do! :)

For some reason, I'm not looking forward to tmr... It's gonna be a looooong day.

Today's pretty long too... But fun I like! :)

 

Cool shot huh. lol... Looks pro... (And no they weren't posing lol) We met early to practise on WOUND DRESSING. It's not as easy as it seems... Lots of nitty details and precautions... Since most of the equipment are STERILE, we have to be very careful not to touch this and that.

It's like a minefield. :)

This is slightly unglam hahaha.

Fooling around in the canteen lol... Took some HILARIOUS pictures during lecture which made me laugh till I cried! Lol... 

Man... I think I'm really good in self-entertaining...

Hmmm... Chilling in the music library the other day, my favourite hideaway... :)

 

It was a great happy day!

My dad was happy.
I am happy that he's happy.
I am happy that God answered my prayers today!!! Happy that I didn't have to wait long for it hehe.
Happy to share funny silly moments with friends!

:)

So happy that I left my house key in school.................... (Anti-climax.)
Hope to retrieve it back later!

Oh Friday is here...
I can see a big mountain ahead to conquer.........
As much fun as school is, that is only the tip of the iceberg of course.

Ok enough's been said on that...
Ending this post on a low note haha.

Off...

 

P.S.: Special hi to Pok and VinK! :)

Alright before the day ends,

Happy April's fool to all!

I miss secondary school days where it was such a big thing... A day where the class' unity was strengthened exponentially as we combined forces to bully the teachers! :)

In university now, nobody even remembers this special day! However, it was a great day nevertheless... :) I washed 2 cars for nursing camp fundraising, in the afternoon sun! So what happened was, I went to a friend's hostel to shower after lunch and we ended up sharing about our very interesting life stories. Lol...

After that we rushed down for tutorial, it was the most fun one! I love my group!!!!!!! It consists of all the funniest people in nursing hahaha.

I SIMPLY LOVE GOING TO SCHOOL. But not for the assignments, assessments and exams parts hehehe.

Went for prayer meeting in the evening, it was a great time with God! A time which I set aside just to love and worship Him!

Had orchestra rehearsal after that. I'm beginning to really like playing cello... Maybe it's because I've improved slightly and so it sounds slightly nicer... And it's probably because I've been praying to God to help me also...

Ultimately, it is for HIS glory.

Recently there is a new cellist who joined us, She's the coolest cellist ever, I like her! Reason being she has a few tattoos!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. Tattoos rock.

Plus she likes "Little Twin Stars"! Haha so cute. She's also pro in cello yet very humble. I really like her! :)

Hehe it was a great eventful day~

And lastly, Happy (belated) Birthday Henry!

Actually I could make it on time, but by the time I finished typing the above, it's past midnight haha.

Ok I'm 70% in lalaland now... Off...

Run Aileen, RUN!

 

I think I need a jogging partner. Someone who is disciplined, who is willing to run at my (snail) pace, who is willing to stop for a break. :)

Hehe.

Come to think of it, I really should get an iPod SOON... I've been procrastinating for the longest time, which is one of the reasons why I haven't been jogging for the longest time. 

Actually I quite miss jogging... It's an extremely good (and costless) stress-reliever for me during my A-level exam period which saw me jogging up to thrice each week.

2-3 years down the road...

I found another (expensive) stress-reliever... SPENDING $$$. Especially on food and cabs.

This is bad...
It's the TOTAL opposite of jogging?! Lol...

What happened? =X

=)

Strangely, I'm looking forward to tmr hehehe. I can't wait to hand up my assignment, It's been a burden!!!

Though I have 1/4 left to write... Haha.

Don't know why I'm feeling happy now as I'm doing my assignment and listening to the piano version of Utada Hikaru - "First Love" on repeat. :)

And eating a fruit. :)

And blogging...

Talk about multi-tasking lol...

 

I love the serenity of the night. It's worth losing my beauty sleep over haha...

Watched "Gran Torino" in the first hour of Saturday. It is a GREAT show!!! Peppered with many crude racist jokes and slang, which somehow I found humourous. I love the story plot! There was an unexpected twist to it and it was so touching I teared. ='(

Bet Henry didn't know HAHA

..... .... ... .. .

Warmest farewell to

WENDY
CHERYL &
DANNY

Who will be transferring out of our cg...

We'll surely miss you! ='(

I had a premature sleep of less than 4 hours... Kinda goggy now... And reason being...

THAT SAME IRRITATING GUY CALLED AT 8.30A.M TO DELIVER A BAD NEWS. He was the one who greatly irritated me on Monday night.

Speechless.

Sigh I have piano at 10am and I wonder how am I going to play given my lack of sleep and practise this week... :(

And I gotta fly to school after that... Lesson at 12pm...

I just knew that last night wasn't a reality... =/

Went for OCS Social Night earlier! And I thoroughly enjoyed myself!!! Dennis played a great date hahaha. He was such a gentleman! (And claimed that was his nature....) Lol.

I have always admire guys in OCS. For obvious reasons... =X And also for their physical and mental strength. The stuff they have to go through in there is incredible. *SALUTE*

The word/letters "OCS" will always remind me of someone... From long ago... Whom I was very proud of... ...

Anyway... I am finally enlightened about the following tonight...

2-3 people = a group
3 groups -> a section
3 sections -> a platoon
3 platoons -> a battalion
3 battalions -> a company? (not sure about this)

:)

Had a good catch up with Dennis after SO LONG. We couldn't even remember the last time we met.

I miss having him and Chang around in church,,,... ='(

Recently I have the hardest time waking up... Each morning my dad has to wake me up for about 5 times... I know it's not something to be proud of,

It's worse now that he has to leave home at 7am! So from now on, I'll reach school by 7.30am... So secondary school!!! -_- I thought I'd never have those days again...

But it sure beats having to take the public transport together with the morning crowd. So I'm really thankful for him man...

Skipped the morning lecture to do up my assignment... Cos I bet I wouldn't have time to complete by Mon...

Having a project presentation in about 3 hours... It's in a form of a little drama. And my role is to play the patient's wife HAHA. Thankful for funny and cooperative project mates!

As fun as the project is, WE CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER AND DONE WITH. It's such a drag. -_- Yet I'm so excited about it hahaha.  :)

Stress level UP -> concentration of cAMP increases -> excessive production of gastric acid -> gastric reflux BACK...

Also,

Stress level UP -> excessive blogging =x

The when-can-I-go-home looks.

And the why-am-I-still-in-school-now look. (It looks scary huh haha, but after that I had a hilarious time acting as a fiance lol. Thank God for great project mates!!!)

 

Going to school is like going into a battlefield.

And at the end of the day, the last thing I want is someone to irritate me. Like tonight. Marilyn knows this...

That I dislike (an understatement) people who

1) ARE LONG-WINDED
2) BEAT AROUND THE BUSH
3) CAN'T ______ MAKE A STAND 

For goodness' sake, JUST ______ GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT???!!!

Especially more so if you are a male (Sorry for the discrimination). If you possess all the above 3 points, there is a likelihood I might stop talking to you.

I mean, if I know I will get irritated by you, then it's better not to take the chance right. And usually problems arise not because a person doesn't talk but rather talk TOO MUCH.

And probably in my case, BLOG too much. =X So it's wise to end here now and do my tutorial...

Got bored with writing my 2000-word case study and so I read MUSO. Came across an article featuring "life as a hospital musician".

In UK there's an organisation called "Music in Hospitals", established in 1948 to improve the quality of life of adults and children with illness and disability through live music.

www.music-in-hospitals.org.uk

That's so cool.

However, it seems like a far-fetched goal to introduce something like that in Singapore. But I believe things can be worked out. ;)

I'm excited at the thought of it and totally in for the idea of having music in hospitals! My hope is to make use of my knowledge in nursing as well as interest in music and create something out of it haha.

Hope that this vision will be manifested in maybe... 10 years' time?

In fact it took me many years to find my relationship to the instrument, and my reasons for being a musician. I had ideas about going into psychology, into healthcare, instead. But you can't run away from your nature, from what you're made of. And it kept haunting me. I was a musician, but I didn't want to be. It was a very difficult time.

- Gabriela Montero ("PIANO" May/June 2008)

 

Frankly speaking, there are times when I wonder "What the ...... am I doing in NUS NURSING???" Tonight is one of those times. What the ....... am I studying about drugs, DNA, how the body works and stuff..............

When all I'm confessing is that I wanna be a PIANIST??? And everyday the dream is bugging me... I see it all the time!!! It's agonizing. ='(

Sometimes, I feel like the boy with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. Nothing much in my hands, little talents. But as he gave them to Jesus, He multiplied them and fed thousands of people.

Similarly, I believe that as I surrender what I have to God, He is able to multiply them to bless many people!

I also wanna thank God for putting many people in my life to help me along the way.

As the saying goes, if He gives you the vision, He will give you the provision.

Amen! :)

Still, after all that have been said, I very much enjoy being in the Nursing course, it's the coolest course in NUS. HAHA. I love learning about our body. It's the most amazing and beautiful creation ever. It's so complex that there are still many many things which the scientists haven't unraveled.

Life itself is a miracle. Something unfathomable. A mystery of God? :)

..... .... ... .. .

Alright that's all for now...
Still learning to like Mondays haha.

Teachers often imply that printed pages act as a barrier between players and the magical, quasi-improvisatory creativity in concerts that we all strive for and which, hopefully. leads to moments of spontaneous genius.

- Murray McLachlan (PIANO)

 

I learnt from Sofi that the person who introduced this performing-from-memory thingy was Lizst. Argh.

Well, when I was younger, I found it much easier to memorize a piece... But now... It's not anymore. Gosh. I believe it's NOT due to age :) but rather overloading of (unnecessary) scientific terminologies and who-knows-what things. :)

I wish I can use just 1 more % of my brain though. It can save me from many things. :)

My schedule is kinda tight right now... Kinda keep me on my toes, which is good. :) Praying for a larger capacity and for extra strength of God!

Oh I wanna thank God I'm 95% recovered already! I totally can't afford to fall sick for the next 3 weeks...

I didn't even eat the pills prescribed, I think they will cause even worse side effects. (-_-) 

Tsk...

YAY Pharmacology test is over~ It was in a true/false format. However, for every wrong answer, 1 mark will be deducted. You can also choose not to answer if you don't know. Rationale is so that we will only choose the answers we are confident of. In clinical, there is no room for errors man.

I had MENTAL BLOCK halfway through the paper... My mind went BLANK. That's the last thing anybody wants during a test or performance. Haha.

Anyway, I wanna thank God for helping me!!! I prayed a lot of times for this test cos I was sick and it's a new subject to me. :) Wanna thank Meng Ching for inspiring me too.

Answers were flashed after the test and I'm happy that some of my tyco answers were correct!!! HEHEHE... And overall paper looked fine hehe... At least better than I thought I'd do...

Of course I should have studied harder or something (yaya...)... Cos most of them were plain memory work. And I left some blank cos I wasn't sure... Sigh.

Anyway... After school I went to the music library to search for a Bach piano concerto score for Sofi. After about half an hour, I finally FOUND it. I was so happy :) Hahaha. Really hope she gets to perform that during our concert!

Met her up for dinner to pass it to her. Had a great time of catching up and talking about piano! Lol... She's my inspiration!!!!!!! I like it when people talk about their dreams. :) Don't have to be piano, but just about anything that you're passionate in. It's very attractive to me and you'll have my full attention hahaha.

Today she said something which strike me... She said she felt in her heart that I should take up the German language. I've never heard her spoke like that before. It was as if for a moment, there were just me and her amidst the crowd.

I have actually planned to take up a language next semester, thought of Japanese (Cos I like the people, culture and food hehehe) but I think I don't have enough points to bid for that. So I thought German will be good too since it'll be helpful in music.

Ok I'm sleepy already... Not fully recovered yet man... But much better. :)

 

P.S.: My blog is getting very wordy...

A Sick Day

Ok I'm officially K.O.-ed.

Went to school for a project meeting today and after that I just knew I couldn't stay any longer for the next 2 lessons. So I left earlier...

Thank God for my dad who came and fetched me home... :) Upon reaching home, I totally knocked out. Slept for 5 good hours. :)

Went to see a doctor, reason is only to take a MC. So I explained to him all the symptoms that I had.

1) Gastric reflux last week
2) Dizzy spells throughout the whole week
3) Gasping for air thingy

He attributed 2) to lack of sleep. Reasonable enough since I usually have to reach school by 8am, and normally I'd only sleep for 5 hours plus. Ever since school starts... :( I miss sleeping!

He said that our brain is like a computer. If you overwork it, it's gonna shut down. So, never underestimate the power of sleep!

And he attributed 1) & 3) to anxiety and stress. They cause excessive production of gastric acid and also cause me to hyperventilate.

So, anyhow, he gave me this pack of "blood circulation" and "giddiness" tablets. Of which a nurse, or whoever was that, told me that I have to finish the "blood circulation" tablets. I asked what was that for??? And she told me it's for my nerves and told me to JUST EAT THEM... (0.0)

Obviously, she wasn't sure too. So I spared her the agony and stopped asking further. Now I know why many people are provoked/pissed by the healthcare professionals due to their lack of knowledge as it is their responsibility to know those stuff.

Sigh, but seriously, there is a tremendous amount of info to remember and I hope the public can be more understanding. BUT of course that's not an excuse for not finding out stuff we don't know.

I think the modern public is not very compliant people, they no longer just follow what the doctor says. They need to know the reason behind every intervention and the purpose of them doing it.

That's really good I think. Don't do things blindly! Challenge the doctors (and nurses...)! Tap into their knowledge and make their salary worth. :)

I don't know why I have difficulty breathing tonight... So much so that I'm gasping for air now...

And what's more ironic is, I'm studying on "Adverse Drug Reactions" now. I'm dreading the Pharmacology test on wed. Argh... Why must drug names be so long and alienish?!

To confuse the already confused patients??? And healthcare professionals... To make them feel smarter when they use those terms?!

Did you know...

That fatal adverse drug reactions (FADRs) account for approximately 3% of all deaths in the general populations?

Making it the 7th most common death in Sweden. 4th-6th leading cause of death in US.

And 50% of ADRs are actually preventable.

I believe one of the (many) causes of that is probably carelessness on the healthcare professionals' part, when they misread the MICROSCOPIC, superfluously bombastic names of drugs and administer wrongly.

That's why for nurses, we have to TRIPLE check a drug for its name and expiry date before giving it to the RIGHT patients (Gotta check their names and IC numbers TWICE.)

Basically, it's the 5 Rs.

1) Right time
2) Right person
3) Right dosage
4) Right route
5) Right drug

 

After writing so much, I'm still gasping for air.... Omg,

Save meee..........

:) I had dinner at Meng Ching's house! Indeed, she's one of the sweetest and most loving people around. I wanna be like her too! :)

She's my inspiration! :)

And for the THIRD time this week, the verse "God is in control" popped up again on a card at MC's house!!! I'm very convinced that God is indeed speaking to my life now.

Not too long ago, my life was kinda in a mess. With exam, project presentation and 2 assignments due one per week, starting from this coming week. On top of that, there're the endless meetings to discuss about the project and my Indonesia trip.

Of course, plus my piano and cello to handle...

It was just kinda overwhelming.

Even until now, I still have dizzy spells everyday! The fainting feeling. Wonder what's wrong man.

Anyway, every night, I still make it a point to read the bible. At least one chapter before I retire to bed. But of course some nights, I didn't read cos I couldn't even open my eyes any longer. =X

Still, I believe God saw it all. The effort I put in seeking Him above all (and of cos the times when I was too tired to read the bible too... =X) and the psychological conflicts that I had. I thank God that He is always right ON TIME to give me a boost when I feel like giving up.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:26 (NLT)

I am currently in love with "Okuribito", the main theme in "Departures".

It brings tears to my eyes... It's... Awesome... Beautiful pieces make me cry-ry,.. =') I don't know exactly how to describe that... It's just that I'm so touched and happy for the beautiful creation. Sort of like a mixture of marvel + disbelief + admiration. :)

Er...

I think I'm too in tuned with my feelings? HAHA.

Well, we had a ET band jamming just now!!! AWW IT WAS GREAT FUN!!! I'm loving it!!! The band members were all passionate and hyped up and there was a tremendous amount of energy/electricity in the air!

Steph was there guiding me in the keyboard and she commented that I played with feelings but lack basic techniques. CHORDS and more chords. Kinda not accustomed to the style of music haha. I mean, how to play without melody on a keyboard?!

Learning-in-process. Hehehe.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can play the keyboard during worship sessions. :)

And I'm dreaming of the day when I can have a solo performance on the piano.

Until then, it's important to know that big dreams require the achievement of many small goals on the way. Yea keep telling yourself that Aileen.

Whee~

I just came back from a movie! Watched "Departures". It's a Japanese production featuring CELLO and funeral rituals. Interesting combo.

I like the way they are so respectful towards the dead. In our local hospitals, nurses have to do what is termed the "last office". That is, they have to clean up the body and prepare it neatly for the family members to view. I mean, after all the emotional turmoil, the last thing they wanna see is a disheveled body right?

So by performing the last office, it gives the family an impression that the deceased has a peaceful death. But of course, prior to that, there may be a hell lot of drama.

My dad bought the ticket for me like previously when I watched "Benjamin Buttons". And again like previously, I watched it ALONE! Haha. It's the first midnight show I watched alone.

Halfway through the movie, my dad smsed me,

"See ok, don't cry. You forgot to bring tissues! Ha ha. Enjoy the show."

I have such a COOL dad!!! :)

And before the show started, I smsed MengChing telling her I'm emo and stuff... And have NO motivation to study or whatsoever. And when the show ended at around 2am, she smsed me,

"Aileen! Hope you are feeling better after a movie! Just wanna let you know, I'm always there for you! :)"

So touched!!! Thank God for people whom I know I can count on! :)

..... .... ... .. .

Yesterday was also the first time I had such a LONG piano lesson. It lasted 1 hour 20 mins. 20 more minutes. :) Both my teacher and I totally lost track of time! Hehehe... :)

As cliche as it is, time flies when we're having fun! :)

"The feeling of never getting there is frustrating, in a way, but it's also necessary, and exciting. If you ever feel you've "arrived", then I think you should leave this music well alone."

- Paul Lewis
"PIANO" July/August 2008

..... .... ... .. .

Had a chat with Sofi last night and I told her some of my struggles. Felt very encouraged by her. She told me to keep practising and that God is in control.

Strange enough in Shing's (my cgl) email reply today, she said the SAME thing, that GOD IS IN CONTROL.

It is comforting to hear that twice on 2 consecutive days. Indeed, it was a word in season for me. :)

By the way, I'm so proud of Sofi! Her dream is about to come true SOON in August, She's mostly likely playing a Bach concerto during our orchestra performance. So exiting haha. She's my inspiration! :)

. .. ... .... .....

I had a nightmare this morning. It woke me up at 6am. It was too scary... That I needed 1 minute to recover myself. It was so real, that even while I was conscious, I thought it really happened to me, that I kept having to question myself.

I smsed Meng Ching cos I know she'd be awake early to pray every morning. :) And she prayed for me. Thanks girl~ :)

What a way to start off my day...

Thankfully it's Thursday! My favourite day of the week cos I only have to attend 2 lectures and the rest of the day is free. :)

Alright till then...

If you have a XY chromosome on your 23rd chromosome, or produce androgen hormones, please do NOT exhibit the following traits.

1) Indecisiveness
2) Whininess
3) Weak-mindedness

NOTHING TURNS ME OFF MORE THAN THOSE. Period.

-Life's Little Treasures-

Ooo... Look what I've found.

..... .... ... .. .

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Cello lesson today!! I think it was great~ =)
There will be a rehearsal tmr.. Anticipating! =)
Love doing things that I love.. =)
Somehow, the cello isn't that heavy anymore... The lethargy after work vapourises like alcohol on warm skin... And shopping seems dull and boring in juxtaposition...

But I haven't reached the 'fanatic' level yet I guess.. But maybe on my way? See, everytime I'm out, I wish I can be at home playing my piano... Coming up with new melodies... It's real frustrating when a nice melody strikes you out of the blue when you are out, with nothing to seal the spontaneity... And most of the time, it slips away like a viper in the desert sand.. Hidden in the deep nowhere...

. .. ... .... .....

Glad that my passion for music is still alive after 2 years!!! *beaming* And of course I'm still far from the 'fantastic' level LOL... Ok now I think it's such a kiddy word. And of course I'm still on my  looong way there...

Some things never change? =P

"The higher we get, the further the horizon becomes."
- Andras Schiff

It's a never-ending journey, who knows where it will lead, when you can't even see the destination?

And yes, I still look forward to coming home everyday!!! It's my best chill out place on planet earth haha. That is, if I'm alone at home. It's little wonder why it takes tons of discipline to study at home. :(

And by the way, when I least expected, in 4 days, 3 people have told me that I slimmed down. HAHA... More reasons to eat!!!

That might be due to stress...? Which led me to have numerous gastric reflexes (heartburns) and dizzy spells recently. Today being the worst.

Ok off~

School Stuff

 

1) In case you haven't known, there was a 2nd suicide case in NTU within just 1 week.

Why did they choose to die in school and scare everyone???

It is alarming to know that both are from the same school and in the same course. But let us not be judgmental about the school system and stuff... And start pointing finger at the poor lecturer who was already literally backstabbed. I believe it's more than that?

Whatever it is, however rough situations may be, they are not worth exchanging our lives for.

 

2) Hehe, if you've read 07 March 2009 copy of the NEWPAPER, you'd have seen my JC principal's grinning face flashed across page 3. :)

I'm not surprised that he was still wearing his white shirt.

Anyway, memories of him are etched in my heart. I always think he looks like Mao Zedong. I will never forget his white short-sleeved shirt + black pants + white socks + sandals. It's like his own set of uniform.

One memorable moment I had with him was during a fateful morning after assembly. I was happily talking to a friend on my handphone. And suddenly I heard someone shouting, I turned and it was actually him.

By the way, he always shouts in school. Especially in the canteen, when people leave their cutlery and utensils around.

So lo and behold, he was actually shouting at me?! *innocent look* (o.o) I knew it and was still happily talking on the phone... Now I wonder where did that audacity come from. =X

Anyway, I can't remember what wrong did I do that morning that aggravated him. He confiscated my phone and I had to see him in his office to retrieve it back. What an adventure lol...

Ok that was 3 years back. :) Not something to be proud of huh lol...

 

3) After half a year in NUS, I finally saw an eye candy that made me turn my head. Probably the one and only in Science. Who knows, he may be in other faculty actually. Haha.

My Year 2 and 3 friends are all convicted that there is no eye candy in Science. Lol...

I was watching TV tonight (like once every week), and was delighted to see an advertisement promoting NURSING!!! I'm so proud of the nurses. I'm glad they showed a MALE nurse too. I think male nurses are very brave, they dare to go against the stereotype. And please, do not have the preconception that male nurses are SISSIES. They are not.

In fact, my tutor once commented that male nurses make good husbands. Haha. Female nurses love having them around too as they can help in the more physical demanding stuff females are incapable of doing. Eg lifting a fat patient.

 

Alright that's about all for now.

I spent 14 hours in school today...

And I'm so freaking irritated that I have no time to practise piano for lesson later... Sigh... My teacher's gonna grill on my scales first thing every lesson... Cos it's not exactly my strongest... Though it's the easiest to score... So so frustrated...

And I'm actually quite afraid of her when she grills me... So much so that after playing all the scales, my mind is kinda exhausted already. The mental intensity is there ya.

I may skip tutorial to come home earlier to practise? Cos I really treasure every lesson and wanna make the best out of it.

Perhaps it's not the best thing to do. I have never skipped any tutorials. But this time round...

Music rules.

 

Maybe...

 

 

Oh and I have a Medan meeting at 8am later.

Do you know what you're getting yourself into???

Her (Carola Grindea) fundamental contention - that total musical communication can happen only when body and mind are free of negative tensions, and muscles and breathing can function unhindered ... she was one of a handful of musicians in this country who really understood the problems, the misery, that musicians, often privately, have had to endure.

- "PIANO" January/February 2009

..... .... ... .. .

I had a thought recently. 2011 might be the worse year yet. =X By then I'll be in my final year in NUS, I suppose it's gonna get tougher from now? And I'll also be taking my Piano Grade 8...

HOW???!!!

Seriously...

Gotta run on God's supernatural strength, otherwise I'd probably just curl up and die. Haha.

Mostly likely I'd be taking piano Dip. after Grade 8 and continue as far as I can go in my lifetime... Who knows I might not even end up being a nurse???

HAHA, I mean, things are curiously unpredictable sometimes. :)

Maybe, somehow, I'll have a fusion of both nursing and piano? Bringing music into the hospitals! How about that? Things can be worked out. :)

I have always wondered why don't hospitals have some light soothing, therapeutic music playing in the background??? It can probably put/induce some patients to sleep (not in that context lol...) and nurses will be less busy catering to unnecessary requests of patients. Or rather, more available to do more important things.

A large majority of patients admitting into hospitals in the next 5-10 years would be our parents' generation. The baby boomers!

Many people + many new diseases.

(0.0)

Please tell your parents to take good care of themselves NOW!!! Stay healthy! :)

Yaya the same few words. I shall disappear now!

Ok I hate it that I have to juggle between music and science. It's causing much agony and distress. How can one person live in 2 different worlds?

Yet I can't (and don't wish to) get out of either one.

='(

 

She is Ong Meng Ching a.k.a OMC, one of my bestest friends! I'm so proud of her!

She's one of the strongest people that I know. Incredible. And she's smart too! Having being the only one to obtain "excellence" in her recent test in NUS Business (Honours). *Beaming* YOU GO GIRL!!!! Of course that was also after praying much to God! Prayers work!!! :)

She's been constantly on my mind recently. Love ya.

Anyway, keep working on your "Flirting 101" HAHA... Hope you can publish it one day. Sorry I can't help much... Lol.

..... .... ... .. .

Take me deeper...
Deeper in love with You.
Jesus, hold me close in Your embrace...

Take me deeper...
Deeper than I've ever been.
I just wanna love You more and more...

How I long to be deeper in love...